Friday, December 30, 2011

ever have those days/moments... /end of semester summary

semester summary:

had a super stressful ending right there at the end. since this blog acts as a diary for me/record of my life but yet is also public, i shall mention why it was so stressful but remain *extremely* anonymous. My closest friend here at MIT told me two weeks before finals that he/she had thought about killing him/herself. No need to worry, my friend has sought the appropriate help and isn't in danger of hurting him/herself. It was just very stressful and tiring for a little while. I hope I made it clear that I'll be there for this friend in the coming weeks/months of getting his/her life back together, but it's surprising how tiring it is to be an emtional support. So like, while I was freaking about my friend, I couldn't/didn't really go to anyone of my friends here at MIT because I wanted to make sure anonymity was maintained. Don't worry, I talked to my dean at S^3 and my counselor at Mental Health. I got things all squared away with me, but still, it was a new and frightening experience for my life. I'm extremely grateful for it, because it gives me new insight to it that I never had before. Also, I'm extremely grateful that this friend came to me. I don't mean to sound mean when I say it's tiring to be emotionally someone, someone else can lean on; it's just a simple fact. anyways, i wasn't motivated to focus on school, and that certainly didn't help, but I managed to finish "strong-ish" and pass my classes, which is all i can ask for at MIT sometimes...heh.

ever have those days/moments...where you're just kind of in a crappy mood? they're pretty sucky. not exactly sure why you feel unhappy/frustrated but you just kind of inexplicably are? grumble. and then I feel like the more you realize you don't really know what's going on, the more you're upset that's the case. and people kind of easily piss you off? hah, i'm not particularly upset at the moment, but i was thinking about how i'm having a mini-one of those days and how in the past it's been worse. any advice on how to minimize the damage? obviously I try to not talk *too* much lest i say something i'll later regret, but still, a method to best avoid or if others have speculations as to why they occur, i'd be all ears.

well, it's a short post, but i'm super sleepy. will make anotehr one soon with more thoughts I have. chirstmas was great. mom flew out and it's been *awesome* having her back her. I really cherish our growing sense of friendship, less parental, more mentor/friend based. good times. went down to see my uncle bill and aunt kathy and cousins. that was fun. i super love my uncle bill, he's hilarious. then went down to yuki and have my mom meet his mum. that was super adorable and one for the "memory books" as nancy always says. :) well, i'm gonna go now. take care everyone! and remember: you are loved! :)